If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. This is my life mantra right now.
I haven’t posted since Monday as it’s been a tough week, and I’m trying to avoid posting a lot of depressive things. Then, I thought about it, and realized that this blog, my blog is about me and being authentic. Authenticity means that sometimes, it’s about times of struggle. To stop posting, and then resuming only when things are back on an upswing just isn’t real.
Most of the time, I feel extremely blessed and life is pretty good. I’m fortunate in a lot of ways. But, my strength and growth comes from those hard, tough times. We need to go through storms so that we can appreciate the sunny days.
My depression has been rocky, so when I received news that I would have to find a new place to live as of January 1st, it hit me hard. I don’t cry much these days, but the tears flowed. I cried so much that by the time I was dried out, my eyes hurt. I felt as though someone had stabbed me in the stomach and it was as if all of my recent tension and distress came to the surface. While normally one piece of bad news would be upsetting of course, with everything going on, it pretty much multiplied in this case.
I am thankful for amazing family and friends, because they helped calm me down and from the edge. Their comforting words and prayers meant the world. I awoke the next morning feeling more content and stronger again. I remembered the previous evening very clearly, but God was there. He was right by my side, and I knew while there was going to be a challenging road ahead of me, He was in control.
My faith sustains me, and while I’m not always the best disciple of God, I know deep down He will never forsake me. Psalm 16:8, ‘I know the Lord is always with me, I will not be shaken for He is right beside me.’