Tonight, I finally bought something that I haven’t owned in a very, very long time. I bought a swimsuit. I have not owned one since losing weight, and even before that, I don’t remember the last time I went swimming. I finished losing weight in late 2009, so it’s been over four years at the least.
Living in the Sunshine State, you would think that I would have easily gotten a new suit after losing weight, but I just didn’t. Part of the reason was, I felt that I couldn’t find a swimsuit that I liked. But let’s be honest here, it really had little to do with actually finding a suit.
In losing over 80lbs, I still wasn’t comfortable in my own skin. I just didn’t feel that I should be wearing a swimsuit. A bit of an odd thought on my part I suppose when you think about it. If I could wear a swimsuit when I was over 200lbs, why couldn’t I manage to allow myself to wear one now that I was a healthier, fitter me? It’s all about body image. Sure, I know I was fat back then, but I guess I just dealt with that and put on a swimsuit anyway.
Like I’ve said in previous blog posts, losing the weight itself is easier than losing it from that point of view in the mirror or in your mind. To this day, I have times when I think, “you are fat.” But, you know what? I’m working on that and working on pushing those negative thoughts from my mind. I remind myself on a daily basis that I am not the girl that I once was.
So, now I sort of begin another chapter as the athlete that I’ve grown to become in the last couple of years. In fact, I’m going to train to do my first-ever triathlon! I’m planning on doing a sprint triathlon in August or September. It has been something that I’ve toyed with doing, but now I’m going to make actually doing it a reality. As a marathoner, I feel that while running 26.2 miles is of course still a challenge, I’d like to see what I can do adding in two other sports, swimming and biking. The latter of those two isn’t too much of a worry for me, sure I’ll have to train to get myself endurance-wise on the bike; it’s the swim that has me more nervous that anything else. Even when I did swim, I wasn’t the best swimmer (doggy paddle anyone?). But, I’m going to train with friends and get out there and do it. Sometimes, the best things come from the things that scare us. That was surely the case with running my first marathon.